Have you heard of the terms shadow work or inner child work? If so, maybe you’re asking yourself, “What’s the difference between inner child and shadow work?”
While the two aspects are essential to self-development, there are some significant distinctions between the two.
This article will cover them both in detail so that you can see the difference between inner child and shadow work and hopefully take some of these tips to work on them on your own self-development path.
What Is Shadow Work?
Carl Gustav Jung was a Swiss psychoanalyst who followed Sigmund Freud but veered away from many of Freud’s ideas. One very important term that he talked about that we still use today is shadow work. Jung defined “the shadow” as the darker aspects of ourselves.
Think primitive, survival-type instincts that we typically try to repress. Emotions such as jealousy, rage, yearning for power, and immediate gratification are all aspects of the shadow self.
If you look closely at the world today, many people unconsciously let this shadow control their actions. But for people interested in waking up and living their lives on purpose, you need to face this shadow side of your personality.
So, shadow work is facing the dark aspects of yourself and accepting them without judgment instead of suppressing them. If you keep hiding the shadow self, it will eventually show up when you get upset and cause you to do or say things you may regret.
How Does This Shadow Self Develop?
So, when we are born into the world, we are whole. But quickly, the world causes us to develop judgment, not to be confused with discernment.
So, we learn duality from our parents, teachers, religion, or other people in society. Things are either good or bad.
We begin to judge ourselves this way. “Bad” traits that we are ashamed of, or someone tells us that’s not nice, don’t say things like that; those aspects of us get pushed to the bottom.
How Do We Determine What the Shadow Self Is?
Jung and other professionals agree that in order to work on personal development and spiritual awakening, you must learn to integrate the shadow aspects into your personality.
You can determine the shadow aspects of yourself because you will project them onto others. So, what does that mean?
Suppose you are getting into an argument with your significant other. In that case, you begin to lash out at them and blame them for being unable to communicate correctly.
But you could look deeper into the situation, and perhaps YOU are the one who doesn’t like to communicate.
This is a projection. When we accuse someone of something, that is our shadow self being projected onto the other person so that they can become a mirror and show us the parts of ourselves that we are ignoring.
Tips for Integrating Your Shadow Self
You want to integrate the shadow to become whole. Here are some tips to get you started with shadow work.
Become the Observer
In order to integrate the shadow, you will want to become the observer. This is a fundamental practice to learn to heal your inner child, too. By slipping into the role of the observer, we can notice our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors from a third-party perspective.
First things first, you will need to create space for your shadow self. So, you will need to step away from the noise of social media and entertainment. Turn devices off for thirty minutes and silence the emails.
You can even physically create a space to meditate and be alone. You can make it fun by decorating it with some of your favorite things or plants. Or try turning on some binaural beats or sound frequencies that help you get into a relaxed state.
Once you are in a relaxed state, you can become the observer. This mindfulness practice allows you to be with yourself and give yourself attention.
The shadow will have a way to show itself now. You will want to write down anything that comes up while you are alone.
Then, you can learn ways to allow yourself to be these parts of yourself. They are parts of you, and ultimately, your goal should be to become a whole, complete human being.
Learn To Be Present and Still
One of the biggest differences between inner child and shadow work is the voice of it. So, when doing inner child work, you are trying to re-parent yourself and heal wounds.
When doing shadow work, you are trying to piece your soul together. When you learn to become present and still, you can listen inside to the voice.
If it’s shadow, it will be darker stuff. You may feel rage come up, or you may feel a surge of greed. Your inner child may be upset, but it will sound more like scared, alone, and unloved feelings rather than dark.
By becoming still and present, we give our shadow self a chance to show itself without using another human being as a mirror.
An excellent way to do this is to sit quietly for twenty minutes a day in meditation and ask yourself, “What thoughts or feelings are coming up that I need to see?”
When feelings or thoughts arise, be sure not to judge them but simply embrace and welcome these aspects of yourself like you would an old friend that you haven’t seen in a while.
Practicing mindfulness in this way can reduce negative thoughts and, therefore, help you develop a clearer understanding of the shadow self.
Journal
You want to make the unconscious conscious. A good way to do this is to journal. Journaling gives us a way to process information and thoughts that come up and provides us with a way to express these feelings.
Shadow work journaling is a great tool for shadow work. You can find journal prompts online for shadow work if you are struggling to get started.
You’ll want to start small. Set a timer for ten to fifteen minutes. You can begin to free-write and just let your thoughts and feelings flow.
Eventually, you’ll start to notice that you are writing down things you may not know. Or you could write down feelings that you never knew you had.
You can re-read what you wrote and begin to analyze it. How does this sound? What feelings are trying to come through?
Remember to be proud of yourself. Every time you come to a new realization, you want to honor and celebrate it! Shadow work journaling takes time, but it is a fantastic way to get in touch with the hidden parts of yourself.
Suppose you have a coach or a therapist. In that case, you can also share your journaling experience with them to get some extra insight if you feel comfortable.
What Is Inner Child Work?
Carl Jung also came up with the idea of inner child work. Jung felt that we had archetypes that manifested themselves in our conscious world.
One of the archetypes was the shadow, and another one was the inner child. Inner child work is diving down deep inside, similar to shadow work, but with a different end goal.
With inner child work, you want to recognize any trauma and pain that you faced when you were small and begin to “re-parent” yourself.
To grow as a soul, you must have self-realization and self-actualization. This means that to become the “you” you were meant to be, you need to integrate the shadow and ease the inner child’s pain.
What Happens When the Inner Child Is Wounded?
You are usually forced to repeat old patterns when the inner child is still wounded and not healed.
So, if you have unhealed trauma, you may keep attracting toxic relationships. You may wonder about the magnet you have strapped on yourself, attracting negative relationships.
Well, it’s most likely an unhealed inner child. Your inner child is full of fear, pain, and unresolved trauma, and you’ll feel trapped in these patterns until you work on healing your inner child’s wounds.
Ways To Connect With Your Inner Child
There are some easy ways to connect to your inner child to do inner child work.
Embrace Your Child-Like Nature
Another difference between inner child and shadow work is that inner child work can be more lighthearted. My favorite way to do this is to let your inner child be free. Do you have a hard time being yourself?
Remember what it was like to have fun and not care about what the world thought of you.
The “imaginary audience” phenomenon is real in lots of people. This explodes when you have people who are addicted to social media who really do think everyone is looking at them all the time.
If that’s you, push the imaginary audience idea aside and stop caring about what anyone thinks of you.
Some great ways to do this include the following:
- Ride a bike
- Play sports
- Draw or paint
- Dance or sing karaoke
- Explore a museum
- Play in a creek, lake, or river
- Go fishing
- Go to an arcade
- Go ice skating
- Go bowling
- Run outside anywhere
- Climb a mountain or go hiking
- Play a video game
Remember that creativity and fun are child-like qualities that many people have lost. So, pick up that musical instrument you used to play or start making fun crafts again, and let your inner child have fun like they missed out on.
Practice Self-Compassion
Another critical difference between inner child and shadow work is that with inner child healing, it is more important to show yourself compassion.
Soothing yourself is a great way to heal your inner child and can help you reduce stress and regulate emotions. A study determined that short-term self-compassion exercises activated the parasympathetic nervous system.
So, the parasympathetic nervous system is the opposite of the fight-or-flight system that so many of us are constantly stuck in. Being in fight or flight causes us to release too much cortisol, the stress hormone, and can harm our health and wellness. Chronic stress can cause problems with your immune system and how the brain works.
Practicing self-compassion can help us get into this restful state, which is good for the body, mind, and soul.
Some ways that you can do this include:
- Becoming more self-aware: You can practice positive affirmations or simply change how you talk to yourself and make it more positive.
- Practice mindfulness: Watch how you talk, think, feel, or act toward yourself. When you catch yourself being negative, forgive yourself and change it.
- Guided meditation: Meditation is a great way to calm down and be kind to yourself.
Look at Photos or Think Back on Good Memories
Another great way to work on your inner child’s healing is to look back at photos of your childhood. You can find times when you were really happy as a kid and try to remember how that felt when you were in the picture.
Or, if you don’t have photos, you may still have toys or stuffed animals that you can hold and look at. Try to remember how you felt when you were playing with them. This can connect you with your inner child.
Maybe you don’t have any items from your childhood. Then, you can sit quietly and reflect on memories from your past where you felt the most happiness and joy.
What did the world look like to you then? What are some smells that you remember really looking forward to?
What can you imagine that you could hear? Maybe you remember a vacation that you really loved, or perhaps you can hear the sound of a childhood pet.
Either way, getting some nostalgia from your past is a great way to connect with your inner child and let yourself feel joy and peace.
What’s the Difference Between Inner Child and Shadow Work?
As you can see, these two aspects of ourselves are quite different, but they are essential for our growth. Inner child work focuses on healing the pain from the past or parts of us that may be trapped in the past.
Shadow work focuses on getting back the lost aspects of ourselves and integrating them to become whole.
By working on both the shadow and the inner child, you can really begin to transform your life for the better. You will be stronger and have better interpersonal relationships with others, including your children.
By discovering how to heal your inner child and how to integrate your shadow, you will be one step closer to developing balance in your life. Balance and harmony equal success.
My Unleash Method Incorporates Shadow and Inner Child Healing
If you need any additional help with shadow work or inner child healing, Unleash Your Healing Vibes can help. As a generational trauma coach, I had to heal my own inner child and do shadow work, so I know how triggering and sensitive it can be.
You can do it on your own, but if you have someone else to guide you and help you on your way, it can be much easier. Reach out today for a discovery session to see if my UNLEASH method will be the path to success you’ve been waiting for.