Are you trying to get away from a toxic relationship? Are you trying to get on with your life after a messy breakup but don’t want to jump into another one? Do you keep attracting partners that seem to get worse than the ones before?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you could be on your way to recovering from codependency. Yay! Admitting that you have an issue is the hardest step in the process.
If you’re looking for codependency answers, you may want to know more about what it is and want to work on overcoming it. Let’s dive into five tips that you can use to overcome codependency.
1. Get To Know You and Fall in Love With You
So when we get wrapped up in codependent relationships, we lose ourselves in pleasing the other person. Sometimes, we can even take on the other person’s identity.
I’m sure you have that one friend who wears whatever her latest boyfriend wears. If he wears NFL jerseys, she starts to wear NFL jerseys, and all of a sudden, she’s hosting football parties every weekend when she has never liked sports before.
All jokes aside, this is what it’s like to lose yourself in a codependent relationship, which is often more serious than football jerseys.
So, one of the first steps to recovering from codependency, especially if you’re an empath, is to get to know you again. You may not know yourself at all. You may have lost yourself in your teenage years, but that’s okay. You can get to know yourself all over again.
One way you can do this is to journal. Or, if journaling isn’t your thing, pick up some form of art or music. When we express our creative side and use our long-lost imaginations, we can remember who we are and what we like to do. Find something creative you like to do and practice it a few times a week.
Once you get into a good habit, you’ll start connecting with your inner world much easier. Then, all you have to do is fall in love with yourself. Once you learn to love yourself, you won’t tolerate some of the same stuff that you used to put up with because now you know you deserve to be treated better.
2. Set Healthy Boundaries
The next thing that you can do if you’re trying to overcome codependency is to learn to set healthy boundaries. Set healthy boundaries with everyone, not just people who you could potentially date. You must set healthy boundaries with anyone with whom you share a trauma bond.
You need to set healthy boundaries with your family and friends, too. See, one of the best ways that we can show ourselves love is by setting boundaries. This is another way of showing others what you will and will not tolerate anymore.
While it may be tough to set firm boundaries with people in your life, it is a must if you ever want to overcome codependency.
People who genuinely love and care for you will respect your new boundaries and think better of you for holding on to them. The people who get upset about it are probably using you anyway and aren’t good for your recovery from codependency.
3. Dedicate Yourself to a Daily Self-Care Routine
Having a daily self-care routine is the best way to overcome codependency. When people think of self-care, they may think of taking warm baths and having regular manicures. While this can be an aspect of self-care, it’s really much more than that. Take care of yourself by showing yourself love.
Perhaps you show yourself the love you didn’t get as a child. Maybe you show yourself the love you feel you didn’t deserve in your relationships, which is why you put up with toxic relationships.
All you need to do is come up with a 20-minute something that you can do daily to become a self-care routine. Some examples of self-care methods you can try include the following:
- Exercising
- Practicing yoga, Tai Chi, or Qigong
- Using music therapy: playing an instrument, listening to uplifting music, singing karaoke, or dancing
- Practicing a form of art: drawing, painting, sketching, or scrapbooking
- Journaling or writing something
- Reading a book or learning a new skill
- Getting in a sauna or hot tub
- Swimming
- Eating a healthy diet: cutting out processed foods, pop, and alcohol
- Getting a proper night’s sleep
- Practicing meditation and mindfulness
There are many ways that you can practice self-care. All you need to do is find something that makes you feel good and loved, and then implement it into your daily routine, either early in the morning or late at night before bed if you’re a night owl.
4. Practice Meditation and Mindfulness
Practicing meditation can be a form of self-care, but it is also good for overcoming codependency. Often, when we are in a codependent relationship, we focus all of our attention on the outside world.
We want our validation to come from the other person. We have to remember to go inside. Everything you need to be successful is already inside of you. If you are spiritual, then you can connect to God within you through meditation and mindfulness practices.
Suppose you think meditation is challenging because you can’t seem to sit still or focus on your breathing. In that case, you can always find guided meditations that others have made to get you started.
You don’t have to practice meditation lying down if you don’t want to. You can sit straight in a chair, close your eyes for twenty minutes, center yourself, and go within. Not very many people start out meditating and are just great at it. It will take some practice, but after a while, you’ll begin to use meditation to help you work through the issues that you are holding onto that may be attached to your codependency.
5. Reach Out for Help
Sometimes, it can be challenging to get over codependency. If you’ve been codependent for years or even decades, you may want to contact a professional for help. There are therapists and life coaches who have codependency experience and knowledge. Sometimes, you can benefit from having both a therapist and a coach.
Everyone is different, and it may take some people longer to overcome codependency than it does others, and that’s okay. You need to remember that it took you a little bit of time to get that way, so it will take a little time to break free from it as well.
Unleash Your Healing Vibes Can Help You Overcome Codependency
So, now you have learned some techniques you can use to overcome codependency on your own. But if you’re still having trouble, you should seek help.
At Unleash Your Healing Vibes, I work with clients who have codependency and are looking for ways to overcome it.
With my tools and signature method, we can help you learn new coping skills for your trauma, break the chains of codependency, and recover.
Reach out today for a free 20-minute discovery session, and let’s get you through your codependency.